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The Duchess of Muanenguba————————Samira Edi

How to Cure Gossipers & Backstabbers Online: (Letter to a Young African.)

Dear Reader,

The internet is a great democratic tool, which has empowered many of the voiceless; especially Africans. It is a catalyst for development, which has brought a level of balance, that bridges gaps for many Africans through shared knowledge and experiences.

However it is being abused gratuitously by a very vile set of revolting characters and verbal assassins, who usually engage in a dirty tricks campaign, using their forked tongues, poisonous venom and huge fangs to attack the innocent.  In that regard, they're like the proverbial green snake in the grass of whom we need to be cautious.

At a time when even kids as young as 9 have been known to commit suicide because of the nastiness they have sometimes been subjected to online, it becomes an alarming urgency to check this intimidating venom, by being vigilant to the true nature of the crime, and the harm inflicted on the victims. I always wanted to write someting about online bullying and trolling, but never got round to it. However, the need has been impressed upon me, not just as a result of my being a victim multiple times, but because I also know a band of guilty culprits who continue to indulge gratuitously in this noxious habit. We cannot leave them to their own devices ad infinitum, to continue their ugly trend of manipulations at the expense of those who suffer as a result.

There are steps you can take to counter any machinations from such awful persons, which I have addressed in the concluding part of this blog. But first, who to watch out for!

What is a gossiping backstabber?

They are also  known as trolls and online bullies.This character is a completely contemptible scrooge and a socially awkward gadfly, whose party trick is to bring down others to their unhappy level by smearing, slandering and crushing their reputations. Sometimes, the gossiper will assume a beguiling bonhomie attitude towards others; all smily, jokey, chummy and friendly towards certain persons, in order to mask their slipperiness. Don't be deceived, because they’re pumped up with conceit and bristling underneath with hate and jealousy for their victims. If you study the morphology of an envenomed snake, you get what a toxic gossiper really is-- they've got the forked tongues [they doublespeak. They're also known as the two-faced monsters. They're venomous--they'll say the nastiest things to impugn your character. They've got fangs --they talk unnecessarily, bringing unrelated matters into a conversation. Their deathly eyes are focused on you, their victim. They are desperate to know everything about you, and so they go sniffing around by ingratiating themselves to others like your relations, your friends, and colleagues - to phish out information about you. They spray their poison everywhere, as they slither their way into the bossoms of the unsuspecting.

 Why Are You a Target?

It is very simple, these are digraceful people without principles, integrity or shame, and there's no method to their madness. You're being villified for no fault of yours. You've got something they are jealous of, or they envy you for. You outshine them and they are seeking ways to engage you, failing at which they seek means to drag you down. The psychologist calls it the crab mentality-- where crabs that are stuck at the bottom of a bucket use their pincers to pull back those who're trying to find their way out of this predicament. They want to reach out to you, but they do not know how. So they manifest their admiration by being hostile, jealous or envious in a horrible way. Remember that no matter whatever you do in life, someone will hate you for it. Sometimes again, it could be because you're different. Amongst a certain type of Africans, it could be as a result of your being from a different tribe or country. These are the bigots and the tribalists. Some others are just sexists hatemongers who generally undermine women..Finding themselves unable to suppress or control you, they give you disparaging labels. If you don't conform to their idea of how a woman should be--usually a cowed and submissive soul [Or a pretentious one]. Do not also discount the fact that some people are just mischievous as a matter of a nature they can't help.  Whatever be the reason for which they're trying to besmirch you, you need to understand where they're coming from and how to counter their unnecessary espieglerie.

What They Do?

Backstabbing gossips are disingenous fantasists and liars. They indulge in vile rumour through fabrications. They narrate tales that never happened, or just add their own versions to fit their purposes. They can go to very great lengths to appeal to the mean spirits of credulous ignoramuses they want on their side. By sweet-talking, joking, praising, flattering and showering generosity, they muscle their way craftily into the favours of the crowd they’re trying to please, while creating a chasm between their victim and them, in order to feel strong. They're cowards who only feel powerful in a gang, because the gang is a secure place for such venomous character assassins. On their own, they're pathetic weaklings. They can only feel strong by the sheer strength of numbers. After they’ve won the admiration of the gullible fools, they proceed to stab their victims by narrating filthy and untrue stories to destroy their reputations.  Remember that the backstabbing gossiper is in fact a repulsive coward who is unhappy with his own circumstances and hate you out of sheer malice, mean-spiritedness and bigotry. They can only seek an avenue to release their personal bitterness, by projecting their unhappiness on an innocent person, of which you happen to be the convenient scapegoat through hostility. With intimidation, lies and gang-ups—they make themselves look better. In fact, these vacuous monsters usually create a distracting smokescreen to hide their own dirty dealings.

 

If you’re a victim, this is what you do:

The secret is never to be afraid of any duplicitous persons, by wallowing in self-pity and fretting on your own. Never get angry because it will becloud your judgment. Always remember that you’ve done nothing wrong, and you’re an innocent person minding your business and the victim of poison you do not deserve. Already, you have the upper hand and an antidote to this poison they’re spraying you with. You may not know it, but you’re more powerful than you think, by dint of the fact that they already harbour a crushing guilty conscience, and do not know what YOU know about them. These cowards have no integrity or moral base on which to stand, so you can grab that moral high ground too. You do not have to mirror their bad attitude by doing what they do—which is gossiping and backstabbing and bullying.  However, you have recourse to this by turning around their malicious attack to your advantage, like an innocent porcupine attacked by a silly dog.

  1. You must challenge them with evidenceexpose their deceitfulness to them and to others with proof. Tell them what they’ve been saying about you and challenge them over it. Always remember that you can forgive a gossiper, but never forget their names. They're repeat offenders or recidivists, who offend again and again. They may show contrition once, but only you will  be able to determine if they're truly sorry.
  2. Appeal to a higher authority. If you are a young person, tell your parents or guardian. If they live in another country, report them to the embassy of the country in which they live. You do not have to move an inch. You can find all the embassy information online from their liaison offices. If you need to know more, contact me via email  If the offense is of a particularly criminal nature, you can report to the police in the place you live. You can also report their crime to the International Police; INTERPOL  http://www.interpol.int/Crime-areas/Financial-crime/Fraud/Email-fra... if the offense is particularly bad, such as constant harrassment. They have helped many victims.
  3. Never suffer these fools gladly. You can, for instance go online and expose them in a blog like this one. It is not vengeance, it is standing up for yourself, getting justice and doing a public good. Others will know about this horrible horrid person and know how to treat them in the future. This blog is a paid blog, but websites like Google have applications which are free. Make sure that what you say is the truth, to counter the repulsive tales about you, otherwise, you may as well be reducing yourself to their lowlife level. Arm yourself with facts to expose them, by inflicting maximum damage to what they do. Be like the innocent porcupine, going about his business quietly until it gets attacked by a stupid dog. Be as vicious in your exposure as they have been towards you. That is how you get satisfaction and justice.

Be magnanimous in victory—just keep your pride and continue to be yourself. With time, human capacity can overcome evil.

Views: 195

Tags: African, Cameroon, Gossippers, Haters, Interpol, Jealousy, Online Bullying, Racism, Sexism, Tribalism

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